Poise Under Pressure: Master The Mental Game

Setbacks are inevitable, but failure is optional. Poker teaches you this lesson the hard way. As for me, I was a slow learner.

In my early days as a grinder, I was obsessed with winning. I’m an achiever by nature (shoutout to my fellow Enneagram type 3s), so victory was a non-negotiable. I needed to triumph in every session I played—anything less would crush my spirit.

But the deck had other ideas. I’d play a hand well, get the money in as a heavy favorite—and then lose. It stung. But, worse, it rattled me. I’d get so frustrated when things didn’t work out as planned. And when I’d leave down money, it would feel like injustice.

It took longer than I’d like to admit, but the losses taught me an invaluable truth: You can’t control the cards, only your reaction.

The same is true of communications. In our industry, you can’t dictate the timing of a crisis or how a journalist will frame your story. But you can control how you respond. And in high-stakes situations, your response—poised or panicked—makes all the difference.

So, how do you master the mental game when the pressure is on? It comes down to three habits.

Prepare To Be Uncomfortable

Discomfort is the price of entry.

Poker will humble you—that much is certain. No matter how skilled you are, variance guarantees losing streaks. In comms, it’s no different. You’ll face hostile reporters, skeptical audiences, and situations where nothing goes right. It won’t feel good, but that’s okay. It’s all part of the plan.

Too many people avoid discomfort like the plague. They make the “safe” choice because it's easy—even when they know it's wrong. The pros don’t. They expect to be uncomfortable, and when it comes, they lean in.

If it weren’t hard, it wouldn’t be worth doing. Difficulty makes greatness possible. As the military puts it: Embrace the suck.

Practice Like It's Game Time

Here’s the blunt truth: people don’t rise to the occasion; they fall to their level of preparation. So, when challenges arise, we'd better be ready. But how we prepare is just as important—if not more. Practice, not to rehearse perfection, but to handle imperfection.

In poker, the best players do more than study game theory. They drill tough spots, determining how opponents could break their plans—and then adjust, over and over.

Communicators should adopt this same approach. If you’re satisfied with polished talking points ahead of a big interview, you’re already unprepared. Preparation isn’t about memorizing facts, figures, and anecdotes—it’s about pressure testing them.

Ask yourself the hard questions that you hope go unasked. Anticipate how the conversation could veer off course. Expect the reporter to push where there’s mush. That way, when it inevitably happens, you’ll be ready to respond.

Be a river, not a wrecking ball. Don’t try to obliterate every obstacle you encounter—that’ll only lead to frustration. Instead, flow around them like water. Recognize that setbacks will happen, absorb them as they come, and let them roll off your back.

Give Yourself A Little Grace

Poise isn’t a gift—it’s earned. A thick skin takes time to develop, and blisters usually form before calluses. Cut yourself some slack during that period of transition.

In poker, this is called building your pain threshold. How many bad beats can you take on the chin? How much money can you lose before getting upset? It’s different for everyone, and it can take hundreds—sometimes thousands—of hours to build emotional resilience.

In the comms industry, we have a similar learning curve. It’s easy to look at professional talking heads and marvel at their smooth delivery, practiced mannerisms, and composed presence. But here’s what you’re not seeing: their frequent media trainings, behind-the-scenes preparation, and litany of past mistakes.

Every communicator has stumbled through tough questions, fumbled an apparently easy answer, and let their nerves get the better of them. It’s happened to me; it will happen to you—and that’s okay.

Here’s the point: grace fuels growth. Don’t expect yourself to excel under pressure straight away. Nobody is unflappable on day one. Instead, embrace the progression. When you make a mistake, dust yourself off, learn, and try again.

Poise is the product of discomfort embraced and preparation mastered. Do that, and you’ll bulletproof your mental game.